I have spent the better part of an hour on our intranet site, taking a required course on sexual harassment. Comprised of helpful online videos (whose set design and production quality are bizarrely reminiscent of a high-budget porn film circa 1985), quizzes, and "refresher units," the course serves as a welcome departure from the morning's usual sales reporting.
In Scenario #1, "Julie," a comely office denizen roughly 35 years of age, is working with her line manager "Bob" on a proposal. They are pitching a massive sale of copiers to ACME Business Corp, and Bob brings up the idea of meeting "Mr. Zeberdee," ACME's top purchasing agent.
Julie remarks that while she's only been in touch with "Ethan," Zeberdee's purchasing manager, it would be great to meet with Zeberdee himself, if Bob thinks that would help close the deal. Bob's response: "You know, Julie, Zeberdee's single, and the last time he was in the office, he asked about you." Bob goes on, reckoning that old Zeberdee would be "putty in Julie's hands" after a social rendezvous. What does Julie think? Would she mind meeting Zeberdee for dinner and drinks to help them, as Bob so delicately puts it, "close this puppy?"
I can barely believe what I'm watching, and jack up the volume into my headphones, subconsciously afraid someone will notice my profound enjoyment and assume I actually am looking at porn. Will Julie do it? She doesn't exactly strike me as demure. Come to think of it, the last time I saw that much green eye shadow on a woman in a skirt suit, she hit me up for five bucks.
| Go get 'em Julie, you tramp—you better plan on coming back with at least $500,000. |
Alas, the video stops right before the dénouement with the multiple-choice pop quiz. What should Julie do—what should she say to Bob? As I wait for the answer choices to appear on my screen, the suspense is downright paralyzing.
I consider going with, "(D): There is nothing wrong with Bob asking Julie to participate in an non-work related dinner, since Julie is single and may appreciate the introduction." Exactly. Go get 'em Julie, you tramp—and you better plan on coming back with at least $500,000.
Instead, I select, "(A): It would be inappropriate for Bob to ask Julie to attend a social engagement with Bob, especially after Mr. Zeberdee indicated a romantic interest in Julie. This would constitute a form of quid pro quo sexual harassment." I contemplate going back to the video for a "refresher unit," but reluctantly move on to Scenario #2.
What will that kooky Bob and Julie get up to next?
